I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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