it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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