That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
