Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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