Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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