She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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