Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You took a bar mat shot.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
