I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
