My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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