He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
