Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
