The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
