I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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