Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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