Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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