literally had 100 drinks last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
