Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
