Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
