he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
