hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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