so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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