He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
