Ambien. No doubt about it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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