filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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