Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
