Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
