Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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