So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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