people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
