I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think my moral compass just broke
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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