i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
