Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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