Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
