Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
