; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
