Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
