Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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