goodnight i made you a song goodbye
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
