Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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