you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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