I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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