Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
