RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
