if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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