you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My first STD was from a foam party
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
