dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize