Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
