OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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