I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
