Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
